Songbird Freed Read online

  His eyes looked distant as he searched for the memories. “One night, she invited me over for dinner, which was nothing unusual, but when I got there she told me my mate was spending the night with his dad. I went to leave, but she made the excuse that it was a last-minute thing, and she’d cooked all this food and didn’t want it to go to waste. So I stayed.”

  Cole’s thumb continued stroking my arm and I took his other hand, squeezing it, urging him to go on.

  “We had sex that night. It was my first time, and really, for a first time it was pretty good. She was really patient with me and guided me through it. I thought she must really care about me. It made me feel special.” He lifted my hand, kissing the back tenderly. “It went on for a few months, but every time someone else was around, she treated me like her son’s friend again, like I was just some kid. I didn’t like it.”

  Marcus got up to refill our coffee cups while Nicole shifted nervously in her seat. She looked like she was watching a movie play out before her, all wide-eyed and totally captivated.

  Marcus handed us both our cups. I watched Cole from the corner of my eye as he took a sip and closed his eyes. I doubted these memories he was dredging up had ever been talked about, and I could see from his drawn face that it was not easy. Taking his cup, I placed his and mine on the table, then wrapped my arms around him, kissing his cheek softly.

  Soft lips kissed the top of my head. “Thank you,” he whispered into my hair.

  I squeezed him tighter, wanting to let him know I was there for him.

  Sighing, he continued, “So, that summer, Angela suggested to my mum that I take a job at the country club. Of course my mum liked the idea of me being out of the house, so I started there, sometimes caddying for the golfers, other times waiting tables. It didn’t take long for the first of the women there to pay me some attention. I thought it was a coincidence, but gradually, all of her friends were hitting on me.”

  “So you used them,” Nicole said bluntly.

  “No, they were using me. Angela had told her circle of friends about me, and they’d all decided I should be passed around. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t complaining.” He looked down at me. “You know what these women are like. They spend all their time and money on themselves. They’re immaculately dressed … they’re like Barbie dolls half of them.” He looked at Marcus who was nodding his understanding. “To a horny teenage boy, it was amazing to have them want me. But one minute we’d be in a back room going for it, the next minute they’d be talking down to me, telling me to fetch them a clean towel.”

  He leaned forward and grabbed the two coffees from the table, passing one to me. We both emptied our cups.

  “More?” Marcus asked, indicating to the cups.

  We both nodded.

  “After that summer, I realised I had something that women wanted, and for the short time that I was with them I felt desired, sometimes even loved. It never lasted, though.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, the pain in his head obvious from his expression.

  Marcus handed us yet another coffee, and Cole took his, draining the cup.

  “I went to university after that, and it continued on. I’d go to parties, and girls would just gravitate towards me. All my mates thought I was the luckiest guy in the world, but for me it was empty. I needed to feel like I was worthwhile, and the only time I did was when I was having sex.” He looked down at me. “It got a bit out of control.”

  Frowning at my cup, I searched for the answer to something that seemed just out of reach.

  “When we first met, you were all about casual sex,” Marcus commented.

  Cole nodded. “For so long, I’d made myself available to whoever wanted me and then been ignored or cast aside afterwards. I decided to turn it around. Instead of them making the rules, I decided to be in control. I’d choose who, when and where. If that was the direction my life was heading, I was going to drive it.”

  “So, why Tara?” Nicole interjected.

  He smiled a full, beaming smile for the first time that morning. “Simple. She didn’t want to sleep with me.”

  I gave Nicole a half smile. We’d spoken about Cole at length many times and she knew how conflicted I had been about him.

  “I knew there was something special about Tara, the minute I laid eyes on her. She had this aura about her. She lit up the room and everyone just wanted to be around her.” He squeezed my knee. “But the other thing that caught my attention was she seemed wary of me. She wasn’t trying to catch my attention and flirt, which just made me want to find out more.”

  I raised my eyebrows at Nicole. That was the perfect way to put how I had felt about him. Wary.

  “Tara was the first girl who was actually interested in me. She wanted to know what I thought about things, and how I felt. She wanted to get to know me as a person, to be my friend.” He squeezed me into his side. “You have no idea how amazing that felt, to have this gorgeous, intelligent girl really interested in my opinion.”

  Cole rubbed his cheek against my hair. “You asked me how I could be satisfied with just you. I was totally unsatisfied with my life until I met you. Spending time with you, even at Songbirds with a hundred people around, made me feel like I was worth something. You saw me, saw through all the bullshit, and even when I was acting like a total jerk, you didn’t give up on me. I’m so much more when I’m with you.”

  Cole’s eyes had glazed over and I reached up, touching his cheek and angling his head towards mine. Kissing his lips softly, I knew that what he was telling me was true. He had been searching for something and he had found it with me.

  Something in my gut had been bothering me and it suddenly hit me like a sledgehammer. “You reacted badly in Paris because I treated you the way the country club women did. One minute we were together, the next I was telling you to be quiet while I spoke to Riley.” Tears welled in my eyes, spilling over my lashes. “Oh, Cole, I’m so sorry.”

  He lowered his head, resting his forehead to mine. “It’s okay, babe, what’s past is past, remember? It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  I couldn’t meet his eyes for the shame of the way I had treated him in Paris. It was exactly what he had lived through time and time again from his mid-teens, and it had shaped him to be the person he had been when we had first met.

  He was gorgeous and sexy, and girls had wanted to sleep with the singer with the piercing so they could brag to their friends. And he had let them. Sure, he had enjoyed it to a certain extent, but I couldn’t help feeling that under that brash exterior was a load of self-loathing that made him feel like he was only worthy of physical love, not the emotional, deep connection that he craved.

  “Does it bother you that I want to jump on you all the time?” I queried, worried that maybe I was inadvertently treating him like a piece of meat.

  He threw his head back and laughed. “Oh, babe. I love that you want me, because I know you want all of me. The good, the bad and the rock-hard.”

  Sighing, I rolled over and watched as Cole made his way to the bathroom door. I loved staying at the beach house, but there was no comparison to sleeping in our own bed. My eyes scanned his back, the wings moving as he rolled his shoulders, then down his arms to his tight ass. God, I loved that ass. He wasn’t top heavy like some guys who work out but seem to forget about their lower body. He had the roundest, tightest butt and strong legs to go with his broad shoulders, perfectly defined arms and to-die-for abs.

  I sighed again, then giggled as I imagined making a plaster mould of that butt, and sitting it on the mantelpiece above the fire so it could be admired at any time, day or night.

  He spun around. “What are you giggling at?” he asked, smiling at me. “Are you checking me out, again?”

  I straightened my face and gave him a wide-eyed, innocent look.

  “You are, aren’t you?” His eyes narrowed. “Which part were you giggling at?”

  My eyes swept over his front, taking in his newest tattoo. It was even better than his
back view. “I was just trying to decide what my favourite body part is.”

  He smiled seductively, running his hand down his stomach and grabbing hold of himself. “I think I know what your favourite part is.”

  I shook my head.

  He pouted playfully. “Is it in the top five at least?”

  I shrugged dismissively. “Maybe.”

  His face dropped as he played along. “I’ll need to learn a few more new tricks if it’s not making the grade.”

  He leapt back onto the bed, landing over me, his face only inches away from mine. “I know you love my tongue,” he said in that voice that always made my stomach do somersaults. His lips brushed lightly against mine. “And I love what my tongue can do to you.”

  My head instinctively lifted from the pillow, trying to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away.

  I ran my fingertips gently over his mouth, and he kissed them softly before pulling them into his parted lips.

  “Hmm, I do love your mouth, but it’s not my favourite either.”

  “Don’t tell me you have a foot fetish I don’t know about?” he mumbled, with my fingertips still in his mouth.

  I giggled again. “No, definitely not your feet.” I placed my hand on his chest. “My favourite part of you is your heart.”

  His eyes widened, but he kept his poker face. “Gee, you’ve got it bad, girl,” he said seriously, before allowing a loving grin to spread. “It’s a good thing you already own it, then. Just promise you’ll take good care of it for me.”

  “You know you have mine too, right?”

  He placed his hand over my chest. “It’s beating fast,” he said quietly, tapping out the rhythm with his fingers against my skin.

  “Of course it is. You’re here, so close.” Inhaling deeply, I closed my eyes, allowing Cole’s scent to wash over me. “You always smell so good,” I said dreamily.

  My hand still rested lightly against Cole’s chest. I could feel his heartbeat accelerate, his chest rising and falling more rapidly. His breath fanned over my cheek.

  “You are the most intoxicating woman I have ever met.”

  My eyes opened slowly to be met by Cole’s attentive emerald gaze.

  This was it, my life tied in a ribbon like a precious gift. I’d never wanted to feel dependent on anyone, fighting every step of the way to prove to the world that I was a strong woman who could succeed on her own. The truth was though, I was strong and independent because Cole had given me the support to feel like I could conquer the world. He had stood behind me, encouraging me every step of the way.

  “Hey,” he said, frowning. “What’s with the tears?”

  I laughed, embarrassed, for crying at a time when he was being romantic.

  “Don’t you like being called intoxicating?” He smiled. “Okay, I take it back, you’re not intoxicating, you’re infuriating. Is that better?”

  Wiping my eyes quickly, I tried to laugh off my emotions that were bubbling to the surface. “That’s much better. I can’t handle you being all romantic.”

  He leant down, kissing the damp patches on my cheeks. “Okay, so I probably shouldn’t tell you that I intend to marry you one day, and build on this amazing life that we have together.”

  “IS EVERYONE ready?” I asked, looking around the circle of beaming faces as nervous anticipation swirled in my gut. “Showtime in ten minutes.”

  We’d rehearsed our butts off, we had beautiful costumes, and the hair and makeup was perfect. The music that Cole and Jay had written for the show was brilliant. It was now up to us to perform our little hearts out for the full house that was waiting on the other side of the curtain.

  There was that brief glimpse of doubt as nerves tried to hijack the moment, then the curtain opened, lights hit us, and the performer in me took over.

  The entire show went by in the blink of an eye. With only one minor wardrobe malfunction that luckily happened backstage and was fixed with some Hollywood tape and a prayer, opening night was over and we had survived.

  As the girls and I sat around in our final costumes—variations of black and gold bustiers and knickers, all different but complimentary—Marcus popped the cork on the champagne. Cole and Jay came in, both with beaming smiles on their faces, obviously delighted with how well the show had been received.

  “So, now for the after party,” Cole announced, rubbing his hands together. “Everyone has left so we can head out to the restaurant. Linc has prepared a light supper if anyone is hungry.”

  We stood, still talking animatedly while filing out of the little dressing room.

  “Not you,” Cole said, taking my hand as I went to pass him. “The idea of sending them out there was to get you alone in here.” We hung back until the last person had left the room, then Cole flicked the lock on the door, providing us with a little privacy.

  “Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on what I’m supposed to be playing out there when you’re dancing around dressed like this?” His finger ran along the top of my bustier, brushing the swell of my breast. “You know I have a weakness for you in lingerie, so what do you do?” He nipped my jaw lightly, his hot breath brushing my neck as he spoke. “You create a job where all you wear is lingerie.” Teeth tugged on my earlobe. “That’s just not playing fair,” he murmured, finding my collarbone with his tongue and licking along the ridge.

  Moaning softly, I let my head drop back. “So you’re onto my wicked plan,” I replied, tilting my head so he could trace along the other collarbone with his tongue.

  “I am,” he breathed into my ear, giving me goose bumps, “And I’m going to have to punish you for it.”

  My stomach clenched at his words and the feel of him pressed up against me. “How will you punish me?” I asked breathlessly.

  He pulled back, a small smile lifting the corner of his mouth. “By fucking you until you can’t take any more.”

  I gasped. He’d never spoken to me like that before, and I was surprised by how quickly my body reacted to it.

  His eyes searched my face, reading my expression, before holding my gaze. “Do you want me to fuck you, Tara?” he asked, already knowing the answer. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

  The rise and fall of my chest was more pronounced by the fact my boobs were pushed up and strapped in. His hands ran up my sides, grasping my breasts and fondling them roughly.

  “Do you want me to fuck you here, Tara?” he queried, running one hand between the two mounds of my cleavage.

  I couldn’t speak. My body had gone into overdrive, every nerve on edge, and all I could do was shake my head.

  His hand ran up my neck, his thumb pulling on my bottom lip, opening my mouth. “What about here?” He leaned forward, sucking my lip into his mouth.

  “No,” I replied feebly.

  He took one step back. “Show me where. Touch yourself where you want me, Tara.”

  Without any room for thinking about my actions, I slid my hand down my stomach, edging my fingers under the band of my sequined knickers.

  Cole’s eyes were huge black pools, following my hand movement. I could feel the intensity radiating off him, but he didn’t move a muscle—the only thing moving was his heaving chest. I looked down at his jeans. No, his chest wasn’t the only thing moving. The bulge in his pants was twitching, wanting to break free. His jeans pulled so tight against him that I could see the shape of the titanium balls of his piercing.

  I let my hand slide further down until my fingers felt my wetness, then I stroked back and forth, a low moan escaping my lips. Cole’s eyes flicked up to mine, huge and wanting, then dropped back down to my hand as he licked his parted lips.

  “Good choice,” he growled.

  Pulling my hand back out, I lifted it to Cole’s mouth, running my wet fingers along his bottom lip.

  “That’s where I want you,” I told him, suddenly feeling in complete control. “From behind.”

  I turned and braced myself against the makeup table, wiggling my ass at hi
m. That was all the invitation he needed. I heard his zip slide down, then his hands were on me, pulling my panties roughly to one side. His fingers slid between my thighs, opening me in readiness for him. The tip of him pressed against me firmly until it slipped in, his full length following.

  “Ah, God!” I exclaimed. We hadn’t tried this position before, and the piercing rubbing against my inner wall was almost too much.

  Cole’s hands gripped my hips as he pulled almost all the way out, then drove back in, making my legs tremble.

  “You okay?” he puffed out.

  Through the mirror I was facing, I could see Cole behind me, his arms tensed while he held me in place, his face contorted in absolute pleasure. His eyes met mine, and he paused mid-thrust.

  “Don’t stop. I want you to fuck me,” I told him, looking him straight in the eye.

  His eyes never left mine as he pumped and thrust his hips over and over, the piercing rubbing in the perfect spot. My legs were starting to buckle, but Cole held my weight in his hands as if I weighed barely anything at all.

  “Touch yourself,” he instructed, “so I can see.”

  With the mirror there he could see my front, and he watched as my hand left the bench and reached back into my pants. As soon as he could see my hand working frantically in my underwear he groaned, increasing his motion to a feverish pace.

  “Yeah, that’s it, babe. Fuck, that’s so hot.” Cole’s hand slid down over mine until his fingers were inside my underwear, mimicking my own action. I pulled my hand out of the way, letting him take over, rubbing and pinching my sensitive area and sending shockwaves through my body.

  In the tiny room, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh and our moans of pleasure were all that could be heard. As Cole grunted and threw his head back, I dropped my head forward. Every muscle in my body tensed from my stomach to my thighs, but Cole held tight, supporting me.

  “Ah, God, Cole,” I panted, my body trembling uncontrollably.