Songbird (Songbird, #1) Read online

  I tried to push Riley’s hand away from my leg, and at the same time push his face away from my face. It was useless; it was like trying to move a brick wall.

  “That’s never going to work. The guy will always be stronger than you,” he explained. “You have to work with the movement of his body, or take him completely by surprise, or both.”

  “So what should I do?” I had no idea.

  “Firstly, don’t push at his hand.”

  I raised my eyebrows at him. Was I supposed to let him grope me?

  “Grab the jerk’s finger and yank it backwards as hard as you can. Break the fucker if you can.”

  Okay, that made sense.

  “Then, while he’s leaning in to you, move in the same direction but faster, so you can get some space between your body and his, then raise your elbow and break his nose, or you can try to ignore his hand up your skirt for a moment and use your outside hand, heel first, to crack his nose.”

  I liked the sound of this; it was clear and I could visualise it. We practiced in slow motion a few times until I felt comfortable with the scenario.

  “Next,” he said, “we’re going to go over another scenario that I hope you never find yourself in. Lay down on the floor, face up.”

  I lay down as instructed and Riley sat straddled over my hips, pinning my hands over my head. He let his guard down for a moment and I saw the hint of a smile creep into his glorious blue eyes before he returned to business.

  “Okay, so I know you’re really flexible.” There was that smile in his eyes again. “But I’m not going to try to teach you anything too complicated, like trying to get me in a headlock between your thighs.”

  Now I was trying to keep a straight face. He looked at my expression. “This is serious, Tara,” he lightly scolded, but he wasn’t very convincing.

  I cleared my throat. “Sorry, I’m listening; you don’t want your head between my thighs, check.” I bit my lip.

  “I said I don’t want to be in a headlock.” His eyes were positively glowing now.

  “Okay, got it.” I bit the inside of my cheek.

  Now it was his turn to clear his throat. “Common thing that will happen here is this.”

  He seemed to just shift his weight and before I knew it he was in between my legs, pushing my knees out with his. I caught my breath; he was now pressing down on top of me. This had very quickly become very serious.

  “Try to throw me off,” he instructed.

  I struggled but it was absolutely no use. His body didn’t budge while I tried in vain to move.

  “If a guy is going to rape you,” he paused and looked into my eyes with a pained expression, “he is going to have to shift his weight to get to his pants.” He rolled to one side and imitated unzipping an imaginary fly. “Now I’m off balance and only using one hand to hold you, right?”

  I nodded.

  “Now work with me, not against me. I’m already half rolled off you.”

  I nodded again. His weight was no longer crushing me; I had a little bit of room to move.

  “Now bend the knee that is on the free side and push so you roll me over.”

  I did as directed and rolled myself on top of him.

  “That’s better,” he whispered.

  I stayed perched on top of Riley, my breathing a little ragged from the exertion.

  “Can we do that again?” I asked as I sat up, now straddling his hips, my hands resting on his chest.

  “Sure, just give me a few minutes,” he said, diverting his eyes.

  We took a five-minute break, and then reconvened and assumed the position.

  “This time I’m going to use more force and as you’re rolling me over, try to bring your knee up into my groin,” then he hesitated. “Just pretend. I still need to be able to dance with you tonight.”

  “Okay, but don’t hurt me.”

  “I would never hurt you, Tara, I promise.”

  JASON ARRIVED with champagne in hand and a whopping apology.

  “I’m so sorry I interrupted the kiss last night. I feel dreadful.” He pulled an exaggerated pained face. “And he was sooo hot, too!”

  “Don’t worry about it, Jase, it wasn’t going to go any further.” I sighed. “It’s too soon for that, and besides, he is so hot that in the back of my mind I can’t help thinking that he can’t really be that serious about me. He must have been with heaps of girls.”

  “But he’s with you now—or at least, he wants to be.” It was Kelli. She had let herself in using her key, and came to sit down next to me on the couch.

  “You know I was worried about you getting involved when you first met,” she said, taking my hands. “But I’ve asked Coop about him numerous times, and he told me he hasn’t seen Riley with a girl, or even talk about one he likes since he moved to Sydney.”

  “So you’re trying to tell me someone who looks like a sex god is celibate? No way, I don’t believe it; he could get any girl he wanted.”

  “And you could get any guy you wanted, Tara, but I know with you there is no correlation between looks and sleeping around. The only thing you can do is talk to him, or just not sleep with him, but I can tell you with all honesty that the guy is crazy about you.”

  Sighing, I looked up at Kelli. “You know I’ve only been with two guys, and the last one shit-canned me in the sack ,in case you’ve forgotten. It doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence.”

  The truth was I was inexperienced, and Shithead blaming me for his cheating had shaken my confidence. I was sure Riley would be expecting more than what I could give him, for me to know more than I knew. I couldn’t stand to disappoint him. He would never want to see me again, and I would never have the confidence to be with anyone else if I failed with him too.

  “So are you worried about Riley or you?”

  “Both really, but mainly that I could be totally crap.”

  “Oh, I know the answer to this one!” Jason piped up with his hand in the air, weighing in to the discussion.

  Kelli and I looked at him, eyebrows raised.

  “What? Just because I bat for the other team, it doesn’t mean I don’t know how the male libido works.”

  We shrugged and nodded. He was right, of course.

  “He won’t care,” he said matter-of-factly. “He won’t care if you’re not swinging from the chandelier or doing back flips like a gymnast. You wrap those long legs of yours around him and he will think he’s died and gone to heaven.”

  Laughing, I wondered in the back of my mind if that could really be true.

  Wanting to change the subject off Riley and sex, I told Kelli and Jason about the self-defence lesson and that Mal was going to start classes on a permanent basis, and how we should attend. I recalled all the details of that morning and then the dinner the night before at the Moroccan restaurant.

  Kelli listened intently, analysing every action, comment and facial expression, while Jason oohed and ahed and cooed with delight. “He sounds dreamy. I can’t believe you’ve turned him down to this point.”

  We continued chatting until our hair was styled, our nails painted, and it was time to get dressed.

  I’d decided on my fire-engine red dress, so I’d painted my nails to match. Because the dress was one shouldered, Jason had swept my hair up off my face, and then very cleverly styled it so it fell in soft curls over one shoulder.

  Kelli’s dress was a bright blue halter-neck, so she too had her hair up to show off her bare back.

  We sat back and finished off the bottle of champagne while we waited for our dates to arrive.

  The door buzzed at six thirty pm and the butterflies took flight in my stomach. I opened the security door, and then, as was customary, stood back and held the apartment door open, waiting for the guys to make their entrance.

  Riley appeared at the top of the stairs behind Cooper. He was in full army dress uniform. It was a khaki-coloured ‘suit’ with polished buttons, and two rows of ribbons pinned to his chest over his left pocket.
He looked mouth-wateringly spectacular, and my jaw dropped involuntarily open.

  “Your panties are in so much trouble tonight,” Kelli whispered.

  Cooper stepped through the door and let out a low whistle as he passed. “Hey Fox,” he said, then, seeing my reaction to Riley, lightly used one finger under my chin to lift my jaw back up to its correct position.

  “Thanks,” I muttered, then stepped out from behind the door.

  Now it was Riley’s turn to freeze as his jaw dropped to the floor. We stood motionless for a few seconds taking each other in.

  Kelli was right. My panties were in danger, but I needed some answers first.

  I forced myself to close my eyes for a moment. I couldn’t think straight with the most beautiful man on the face of the planet staring at me with those piercing blue eyes, like I was the most beautiful woman.

  I knew he wanted me, I could see it written all over his face every time he looked at me, so why shouldn’t I just go for it? I was twenty-four and single; there was certainly no law against it, but I’d never been into casual sex. It just felt wrong.

  I needed to know why he’d broken up with his girlfriend, but most importantly, I needed to know what this connection between us meant to him. Was I just something for him to do for a few days while he was in Melbourne, or did he see a future? Would he come back?

  Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes again, which were immediately met by his sultry Irish eyes. He was exquisite. He leaned in and I could smell just the faintest trace of cologne, a combination of cedar and citrus.

  He kissed me lightly, brushing my lips. “I don’t want to mess up your lip gloss,” he murmured.

  “Does that mean we can’t kiss all night?” I asked with an exaggerated pout.

  “Don’t worry, we’ll find a way. I can’t go the whole night without tasting you.”

  He looked me up and down, caressing my body with his gaze. “I can’t believe you’re wearing that dress.”

  Oh no. I inhaled, and dread filled me as I remembered all the times I had worn something that Shithead had disapproved of. The hours I had spent getting ready, only to be told that what I was wearing made me look cheap or totally inappropriate. In the end, the only thing he was happy for me to wear was something that he had chosen, always in a dark colour so I would blend into the background.

  But instead of disapproval from Riley, he continued smiling. “You look stunning; every guy there tonight will wish he were me.”

  I bit my lip as tears threaten to blur my vision. He had said I looked stunning. That one compliment meant more to me than he could ever imagine.

  Looking up at him, I blinked away a stray tear. “Thank you, Riley.”

  He stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers. “Thank you for coming with me.”

  We left the apartment and were escorted to a stretch limo.

  “Oh my God!” Kelli exclaimed, and threw her arms around Cooper’s neck.

  “Nothing’s too good for my baby,” he said, obviously delighted with Kelli’s response. “There’s even champagne.”

  Kelli and Cooper were snuggling on one side of the car. Riley and I were holding hands on the other.

  I leaned over to Riley. “So are there any conversation topics I need to know about for tonight?”

  He looked at me, his brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

  “You know, anything I should or shouldn’t be discussing, anything to avoid?”

  “No, of course not. You can talk about whatever you like. This is a social event, not a matter of national security. Why do you ask?”

  I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Yeah it does. Tell me.”

  “Well, for any important social occasions my ex would brief me on relevant topics of conversation.”

  “You’re kidding?” Riley’s brow furrowed with disbelief.

  “No, not kidding. In fact, for one very important dinner he prepared a Q&A sheet for me, and quizzed me for a week. I guess he was worried I would embarrass him.”

  Riley shook his head in disgust. “That guy was a fucking moron. You’re one of the smartest people I know. You follow the news and current affairs; you know music, sport, and you’re artistic.” He laughed. “Some of the girls I meet in bars have to refer to the answer written on their arm when you ask them their name.” He smiled at me. “We’ll be sitting with the other guys from the unit and their partners. They will all love you just the way you are.”

  I felt relieved, but in the back of my mind his words “some of the girls I meet in bars” was on repeat. I looked over at Kelli. She raised her eyebrows, knowing exactly what I was thinking. Maybe our conversation earlier about him getting any girl he wanted, and having lots of them, wasn’t that far off the mark.

  I shook the thought from my mind, not wanting to mar the night when it had just started.

  “So what about you? Is there, like, a code of conduct for you to follow?”

  “Sure,” he said, laughing. “We can’t fight, and we can’t get rolling drunk and dance on the tables, or pass out in the corner while we’re in uniform.” Then, a little more seriously, he said, “We’re all proud to serve our country, and take pride in what the uniform stands for. Half the people there tonight will be civilians, and we have to remember that our conduct reflects directly on the military when we are in uniform. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun,” he added with a wink.

  I made a mental note to be on my best behaviour for the night, whatever the outcome. I didn’t want to affect Riley’s career by embarrassing him.

  We arrived at the ballroom and the valet met our car. Feeling like a celebrity, I stepped out onto a red carpet, which led up the marble stairs and inside to an extravagant entrance hall. I looked around in awe. I’d never seen anything like it. There were huge chandeliers; each one would have filled my entire apartment, and floor-to-ceiling mirrored walls that threw the light back into the room so it was lit up like Christmas. The ceiling, in between the chandeliers was ornately outlined in gold filigree with murals of angels and clouds.

  We walked the length of the carpet until we arrived at huge gold double doors that opened into the main ballroom. This room was decorated similarly to the entrance hall, but contained what looked like close to fifty tables, all lavishly laid with pristine white linen and a massive flower arrangement in the centre.

  Cooper checked the seating board before an usher led us to our table.

  Riley pulled out my chair before taking his seat next to me, then introduced me to the people who had already arrived and were seated there.

  The wives or girlfriends were nowhere to be seen, apparently already feeling the need to fix their make-up, but the men who were of course all dressed in uniform, looked happy and relaxed as they greeted me warmly, smiling knowingly at Riley as he made introductions around the table.

  There was Bear, who was a mountain of a man but had a real baby face, then Tech, who looked to be slightly smaller than the other guys with an almost shaved head. Ram looked like he was more suited to bumming around on the beach, with his blond hair and dark tan, than wearing a uniform.

  “So you’re Tara, from the Pink Palace,” Tech said with a grin.

  I laughed at the description. “Did you help Riley paint? I can’t thank you enough, all of you.”

  Bear shrugged. “It’s what we do; we’re like family. If someone needs something, we’re there. Besides, Irish helped me put the nursery furniture together, he helped fix Tech’s car, we’d do anything for each other.”

  “Well you don’t know me, or owe me anything, so thank you.” I looked around. “So is the whole unit here? I thought there were six of you,” I asked, wondering where the missing piece of the puzzle was.

  “Jax isn’t here.” Bear looked at Riley with a deliberate grin. “He had a last minute change of plans, but he didn’t mind.”

  Remembering the text message Cooper had sent Kelli, I smiled. Jax had given up his ticket so Riley coul
d bring me.

  The band, a string quartet, started playing, and one by one people took to the dance floor.

  Riley rose to his feet and offered me his hand. “Would you like to dance?”

  I gladly accepted.

  “Where did you learn to dance?” I asked, surprised by how gracefully he moved around the floor.

  “My mum taught me. She always said that the boy who can dance will get the most girls.”

  “I agree with her,” I said, looking around at the guys sitting at the tables alone. “Your mum was a smart woman.”

  “She sure was,” he said proudly, but his eyes were sad.

  “What happened to her? If you don’t mind me asking,” I added hesitantly.

  “Initially breast cancer, but in the end it was right through her body. She fought it for nearly six years and held on until my sixteenth birthday, threw me the best party ever and then died a couple of days later. That was the last time I celebrated my birthday.”

  “I’m so sorry, Riley,” I said. He had obviously been very close to his mother.

  “When is your birthday, by the way?” I realised there were so many little things I didn’t know about him.

  “New Year’s Day. It always makes me sad, though, bringing in the New Year.”

  He smiled warmly down at me. “You remind me a lot of her, actually. You’re a gentle soul, but you also have a lot of inner strength. It takes a lot to leave the type of controlling relationship you were in. You’re cultured and refined, but you can also sit down and have a beer with the boys and feel perfectly at ease. And you look like a freaking supermodel but you don’t know how naturally beautiful you are.”

  I blushed, not knowing how to respond to so much praise.

  “Okay, Fred Astaire, show me some of this fancy footwork of yours.” And laughing, Riley twirled me around the dance floor.

  As we circled the floor I caught the eye of the guy playing the cello in the quartet. He looked familiar and smiled when he saw me, but I couldn’t place where I knew him from. He looked swamped by the instrument he was playing, so wasn’t very tall, and he had slicked back brown hair, dark brown eyes and a cheeky round face. As with the rest of the men in the band he was dressed in a sharp tuxedo. I racked my brain, but no luck; maybe he just looked like someone from work. It was a very large company and I didn’t know everyone.